Or the 2759.3 people foing jumpjng jacks in the road while PD blinds the fuck out of you with their flashligjts and the FD blocks the drive way with their truck causing you to walk 7.407 miles to the fucking call.
1. You have the bladder capacity of five people. 2. You have ever restrained someone and it wasn’t a sexual experience. 3. You believe that 50% of people are a waste of good air. 4. Your idea of a good time is a shooting or a car crash/rollover. 5. You believe in the aerial spraying of Prozac and birth control pills. 6. You believe the government should require a permit to reproduce. 7. You refer to your favorite restaurant by the intersection it’s located at. 8. You have ever wanted to hold a seminar entitled: “Suicide….getting it right the first time. 9. You think caffeine should be available in IV form. 10. People flag you down on the street for directions to the strangest places….and you know where they are located. 11. You can discuss where you are going to eat with your partner while standing over a dead body. 12. You have ever assessed the level of orientation of a patient and didn’t know the correct answer.
13. A weeks worth of laundry consists of five of the same pair of pants
and five of the same shirts, five pairs of underwear and five pairs of
socks. 14. You’ve ever referred to Tuesday as “my weekend”, or “this is my Friday.” 15. Discussing dismemberment over a meal seems perfectly normal to you. 16. You find humor in other people’s stupidity.
17. You have ever avoided an unhealthy looking COPD'er in public for
fear that he might drop dead in front of you, causing you to have to do
CPR on your day off. 18. You have your weekends planned for a year. 19. You ever look at complete strangers and your first thought is “nice veins”. 20. You believe unspeakable evil will befall you if anyone says, “Boy, it sure is QUIET tonight.”
